It has been a while since I last wrote down something – anything at all that wasn't an email, a reply to an email or a chat stream on Teams, with all the official tropes and lingua like "best regards", "kindly note", “please find the attached” and so on. While I am not proud of this, being a self-acclaimed writer, I do appreciate the time I have had away from the pen and paper for it has provided me with some form of clarity.
For the longest time, I have always thought of writing as being ‘my thing’, for lack of a better phrase. And I should add that for the rest of this piece when I refer to ‘my thing’, I do not in any way imply whatever nastiness your minds may connote (but feel free to get the joke).
So, you know how everyone has ‘their thing’ and a lot of people often spend their lifetime searching for whatever it is ‘their thing’ might be, just so they can feel complete or safe or at least feel something. Well, I believe I found that –my thing– when I discovered the bliss in writing. In it, I was able to find my voice in the many stories I weaved and the playful anecdote I reimagined. And for a while, writing did give me that long sort after solace and helped me channel my deepest fears and most profound ideas on paper. Till this day, I still love writing to my bones –granted my relationship with it may be likened to the relationship between an average physically African Father and his children; finding it difficult to show true intimacy and warmth for the world to see but unmoved in his resolve to protect them. Truth be told, there are some days when I feel lost and nothing else helps or gives me hope and solace besides going back and digging deep into a particular folder on my computer and re-reading the drafts and rough scribbles of my thoughts and ideas that may or may never see the light of day.
So, I guess the most logical question one might ask is, what changed? Why isn't writing still as much ‘my thing’ as it was before? To this question, I will say that if I am being honest, nothing changed, really. Absolutely nothing, except for the fact that I discovered that it was possible to have more than one ‘my thing’ to conquer the dreary days. I believe I grew older and found out that I could also express and channel my ideas and thoughts as well as share my stories in another means that is just as wholesome as writing was. Yup, I discovered podcasting.
However, when I say “discovered” I don't mean some eureka revelation or some divine insight from some big man above. Nope. I discovered podcasting at a point in my life were ‘my thing’ –writing– needed to take a break from constantly serving as that source of solace for my thoughts, fears, and ideas. My writing needed to rest, and podcasting became the substitute.
As ridiculous as that sounds, I think we often forget that it is possible to wear out whatever it is that ‘our thing’ is as individuals. Hence, you find so many of us constantly wondering why what we once had so much zeal and passion for suddenly seemed to lose all its grip on our senses or its thrill. We begin to doubt ourselves thinking, well, maybe this wasn't my thing after all or maybe I was just deluding myself about this from the start or maybe it was some sort of beginner’s luck. But soon enough we come to learn that it was none of those things.
Often, it usually is simply a case of fatigue. A case of you needing to not only give yourself a break but also to afford whatever your ‘thing’ is, to rest and take a breather from keeping you sane and on track consistently as well. And maybe in that time where we allow whatever it is we love or are passionate about to take a little respite, maybe we can find something else born out of its loins that can take its place, in the meantime, but not to replace it or send it to the abyss of oblivion, but to compliment it – give it a whole new meaning and outlook for us.
This is what podcasting continues to help me do. It has helped me write again and it keeps helping. And while I may not be as proficient in my writing as I was when I first fell in love with the artistry that penning down words is, I do believe it (writing) knows it always has a place in the warmest corners of my heart; and that when I need it to come to my aid, it won't hesitate to do just that.
So, this is me saying welcome back to writing, Mifa. Welcome back. I missed you. Podcasting thanks you. Cheers to new beginnings and familiar allies.